i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
the only thing I remember was some guy took out his fake eye to use it for beer pong
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
How do I un-spend everything I bought last night? Seriously...was a penis shaped piñata and enough tequila to fill my bathtub really that necessary?
At least you can say you've literally dumped money down the drain
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
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