Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
Randomize
