wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Im going to the gym...covered in the Brazilians cum
And how is that different than any other weeknight in your world
You know what would have been funny if we got arrested last night? The inventory search of the lock box:\n\nContents:\n1 work ID\n1 33 round Glock magazine\n1 set of keys\n1 vibrator\n2 bags fruit snacks\n1 parking hang tag
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
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