i literally would have sex with every single person on this girls wall, but not her
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
I had a dream that you were telling me how good you are at parkour and legit you were doing it just like Michael Scott...
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