In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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