I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I am pretty sure they consider me one of the "bros". They compliment girl's racks to me and are the human forms of dick-be-gone. They won't sleep with me more than once cause it's "weird", or let any "untrustworthy boys" sleep with me and I still help them get laid. Not...fair...
shes making a cheerios necklace using dental floss 'just in case' she gets the munchies later
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
Randomize
