I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I forgot that places existed where drinking on Sunday is frowned upon. It's just so unreasonable.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
Well, I can now cross "dirty drunk homeless hobo" off of my bucket list of people who have been successful wingmen for me. North Carolina is getting weird.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize