I want to come over to your house, give you money for liquor, fuck you, and then kick it untill I have to go home. Was that blatent enough for you?
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
He called me skinny, I broke his garbage disposal, then denied him sex. Normal second date etiquette.
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
I mean it's up to you where you want to sleep but I'm telling you you're going to hear us have sex no matter what room you're in.
Fair enough
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
Randomize
