Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Sat down on an escalator. That hungover.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
Its bad when you wake up with a penis drawn on your face. Its worse when you find out its traced..
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
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