You're completely useless in the revolution.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
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my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Mom said you looked used
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
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