don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
If I could have all the money back from the pregnancy test i've bought- I could buy myself a vacation.
Or a large amount of condoms?!?
He somehow managed to accomplish karate kicking a door down, cockblocking my friend in the room, and writing "tits" all over the house with a blue sharpie.
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
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