I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
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