she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
She called to say her plane was running late and i had 30minutes to get to the airport for bathroom sex
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Randomize
