'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize