took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My hangover headache is somewhere in the Harry Potter scar neighborhood. I can now empathize with that poor bastard.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
She told me I’m a “stunt cock.” I’m okay with that
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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