So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
