she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
I'm pretty sure I just crapped out my pancreas. I have 2 of those, right?
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
Randomize
