he puts the penis in happiness.
She showed me her prom dress from 2001, which still had her date's cum stain on it.
Oh, so that's why you call her jizzarella....
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
apparently the dude across the street has been dead for like a month. now I feel bad about pissing on his lawn
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
Some dude gave me a questioning look as I came out of the women's toilet. I just responded 'blowjob' and he understood, then shook my hand.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
Randomize