Taylor Swift is so right about you.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Its a Guy he gets weed for. I'm kinda confused as to why there are going to even be tuxedos involved at all.
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
