I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
Randomize
