so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
We fucked so hard that when I orgasmed I tore his towel rack off the wall. He was more impressed than mad.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
i believe in u and ur pee
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