you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Vom Wallet is no more. We now boldly enter a responsible, adult era where we will not throw up liquor onto ourselves.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Randomize