So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
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