i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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