She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
remember that time that crown gas station wouldn't sell us a lighter so we had to use matches and birthday candles to smoke with a toilet paper roll? sometimes i miss high school
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got laxative. And a toothbrush. Because who wants to buy just laxative on a Friday night?
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
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