i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
No one needs to know about the barren wasteland that is my vag. Sometimes i visualize my cervix rocking back and forth wondering where everybody went.
I just pictured that. It's reading a book.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Randomize