i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
A stranger just came up to me and asked why I hadn't texted him, and if he was just a one night stand. I live for these moments.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Fuck you. All I remember from last night is telling random people that I'm in a "judgement free zone" then I threw up
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Randomize
