I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
she kept asking for a lobster dinner while she was crying. it was actually the most reasonable drunk chick request i've ever heard.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
Randomize
