I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Someone shit on the floor
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Nothing more awkward that being butt ass naked in a guys bed and his ex wife shows up with his kid....
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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