Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
He just sent me a dick pic with his iPod held up next to it and the words "in relation to iPod." Geekiest booty call ever.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
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