My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
