I have a deodorant stick dedicated to my balls.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
so you had a one ended conversation with the toilet las night in between barfs. you kept telling the toilet how strong it was because its gone through a lot of shit in its life.
drunk me is so punny.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
Fairly certain I cracked a rib. Masturbation is not for the weak. I die now.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
A girl I had a drunken hook up with is on interventon right now
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
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