Professor used "ROFL" while grading my paper... Do I even go to a real college?
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Randomize
