I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
I cant. There's fences everywhere and I think I have a boyfriend. Its fabulous.
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Is it wrong to want to use the Dark Web to buy Vyvance for legitimate purposes?
Randomize
