She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I'm at a party with that guy you made out with on new years. He remembers your name!
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Randomize
