My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
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