I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
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Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
when I was too drunk to walk on my own two feet, he stole a shopping cart from the grocery store at the corner and proceeded to wheel me back to my apartment.
Then he tucked me in, gave me a goodnight kiss and slept on my sofa. I woke up this morning and he was making waffles.
he is a god among men.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
Drunk life lesson just learned the hard way: do not try to play hump the great dane. He may take you up on it.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
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So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
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