covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Also how the fuck did i get like 30 brown napkins
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Randomize
