Went to gas station for smokes. three cops pulled in. got gas i didn't need. found diff gas station.
good choice.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
My mom just found some of our lube mixed in with my box of pots and pans. I hate moving home.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Dude I'm so clean right now. Like I feel insulted that I can pass a piss test.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
He shit in the fireplace
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
