At one point you starting double fisting oreos in your mouth confused about how you got out of the car
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
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