dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
Randomize
