I heard we made out
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Because you work where i will be drunk tonight I'm asking you. Is a shirt required on Halloween?
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
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