omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
If only I could bank my drunk hookups for a sober IOU.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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