My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
No man we're leaving now. The party will probably be busted soon. O and a bitch started throwing knives around the place, like real actual knives.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
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