i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
Randomize
