yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
come to Starbucks. I'm the fat girl eating a whole pizza sitting on the ground
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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