I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
You tried feeding my python vodka through a funnel. Fuck off.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
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