We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He snuck out of bed at 9 am and came back with pizza and a bottle of wine. I think I'm in love!
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
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