I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
Randomize