I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Well that's the second time I've broken a lamp during sex this month. Starting to worry I'm some kind of X-man. (this one was a wall sconce and I fully smashed it with my head and it crumbled like it was made of sugar)
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
but I have boobs. I'm not going to buy my own drinks at the bar like some kind of fucking animal.
AHHHHHHHHH. I LEFT A GLASS NEXT TO ME WHEN I FELL ASLEEP I'M SO SURE IT WAS WATER BUT NOW IT'S VODKA JESUS MADE A STOP
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
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