Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
