3:12 am: but i thought i was coming over tonight, don't fall asleep i wore new underwear
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
You ever start fucking a girl and realize she kinda looks like your mom?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
I'm not dropping acid and watching game of thrones with you. That just sounds like a disaster waiting to happen.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
New rule. If he's too busy to put the "H" in "what" then I'm too busy to put his D in me.
I'm sorry, I'm tired, I can't play long distance cockblock anymore. Good night don't get too pregnant.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
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