he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
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They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
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I stuck my fake eyelashes to his balls after he passed out.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
He was feeling me up but acting like he was asleep. Like WTF does that mean??
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.