I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
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