people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
I'm covered in pickle juice. Why do you people leave me alone?
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
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