I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
