We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
Idk but she keeps giving me s'mores and I'm having a hard time caring about her alcoholism because of it
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I still can't get over the fact that he thinks I have my life together... That has to be one of the nicest yet most sadly misled things anyone has ever said about me
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
sorry i got drunk at sunday brunch and force fed carrot sticks to your cat
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
