i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
Everything is fine, it's not hung over in here at all\n\n*Narrator* *but in fact everything was not fine*
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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