I can't find my pants or my car
I didn't even hookup I think I took them off at taco bell...
ha omg I always lose my dignity at taco bell as well... so no big deal.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
Yea my vagina was pretty pissed at me for not taking advantage of the situation...
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
