Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Help me. My dealer just asked me to have a child with him. Sat me down for a heart to heart "he's almost 40 and losing his shit cause he's single and wants babies" talk. How the fuck am I supposed to feel about this????
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I just bought a blender and 120 pizza rolls. Bring tequila.
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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