so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
nobody put me to bed and I ended up peeing on a tree and got written up
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
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