Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
i'm thankful for my girlfriend's hot cousins....god, i love her family parties.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
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