miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
