can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
People with herpes should wear stickers.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I asked him to get me another beer, and he started making muffins.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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