Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
i just woke up in the woods behind my house in handcuffs and a dan marino jersey ive never seen before
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
I SWEAR TO GOD IF SHE FUCKS WITH OUR GOLD GENE POOL
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Remember those two guys in our frat that would no homo everything? I just got an invitation to their wedding.
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