Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
he came over wasted, used the bathroom, drank some water, and fell asleep holding my hand. what kind of a fuck buddy does that??
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
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