before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
How does one acquire holy water?
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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