i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
I went online and donated $30 to his walk-a-thon as a "sorry I puked in your bed last night"
It was right before we played jenga with champagne glasses for a good half hour
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
I am at 99 matches in less than 24 hours, I need a tinder rehab program
We probably are going to die. So. Thanks for agreeing to be my Maid of Honor even though I torture you.
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
Get over here and bring your drill!!! The strippers next door need help installing a stripper pole by their pool
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