1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Might as well permanently tattoo lush somewhere on my body and show it to people when I decide to drink so they won't serve me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
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